How we love to hate the IPL!!

Long time , no blog. Thanks to a major geographical displacement, an acute shortage of time on the comp and (believe it or not) unavailablity of internet “cafes”. Though a lot of the latter were available , the combination was tough to find out here , in a city , that is too big to be single. (All puns intended)

It was the 12th of March , a not so memorable day of the year, not if you’re Lalit Modi and his gang of Merrymen, women and what-not.Those who thought 22 yards was all that separated the batsman and the bowler, might have to rethink. LM has made us hate the one thing that we’ve grown up with – cricket. I must really say that Lalit Modi has brought out the “angry young man” (not Big B) in me. Right from the age of 3 , when every Indian kid receives a plastic bat that says either Sachin or Kapil, I’ve been following the gentleman’s game. Though my comprehension has varied over the years, it seems to me that the game is looking more childish than ever. I began to hate IPL3 even before a ball was bowled. Consider these incidents and you are most likely to foresee the beginning of the end.

1. The first game of the “season” (i feel funny using the word season here ,cos season can definitely not mean 1 and a half months , unless you’re talking bout the monsoon in chennai), good old ump Rudi Koertzen gave me a heart-attack, well almost. In an attempt to dramatise the situation, he actually yelled out “Batsman are you ready, bowler are you ready” and elegantly confirming the readiness of the crowd , so that he need not do the entire routine once again, he set the ball rolling. What next ? “Scorer ready?” Let’s hope LM doesn’t have a premier football league in mind, it would take 2hrs to finish the “Are you ready ?” routine. It would be better to blast the “Are you ready?” music in the stands once and not bother about throat infections in the summer!

2. Get rid of the MRF blimp. What is that “forefront” of technology? And why is LSK talking about it, when all he usually does is teach grammar, stress, punctuation and cliches.

3. What is the point of stopping a game in the name of breaks when all you wanted to do was shorten the format? What next football style subs warming up near the boundary?

4. A word of advice from the chennaites to all commies alike – She is not just a familiar face “in this part of the world”, she is trisha. I hope if RajniKanth turns up for a game, Ravi Shastri knows who he is. And what’s up with Viveizhk*Oberoi and Sameera reddy on a cricket field, not that Preity Zinta and Shilpa make sense on it either.

5. For Lord Krishna’s sake, please provide separate mobiles to Viru and Gauti, the sight of them cackling along in the middle of an over on the giant sightscreen is annoying, next only to Darryl Harper’s hindi (while umpiring in chennai, great scot, hopefully the CM wasn’t in the stadium)

*numerology/nameology alert.